It’s ironic that the Haines Borough is carrying a million-dollar deficit because it just so happens that the Jackass in the White House owes our town at least half that much up front.
We should have our tourism department send him a bill.
Back in February, the Jackass started flapping his jaws about “making Canada the 51st state.” Ostensibly, this had to do with tariffs and as starting a discussion with our nation’s oldest ally and biggest trading partner by threatening to invade it is something only a jackass would do, he did it.
In retaliation, Canadians started boycotting our nation and our products.
Canadian attendance at our Haines Brewfest and Kluane-Chilkat International Bike Relay dropped by more than 500 visitors, combined. Yukon participation at our Southeast Alaska State Fair was down by at least 250 and how many others did the Jackass cost us during the summer visitor season?
If the Jackass cost our town 1,000 weekend visitors who would have spent roughly $500 each here, he owes us $500,000. If President Barack Obama had done such a jackass thing, Haines and Alaska would still be in an uproar.
I was at the Haines Visitor Center two weeks ago, discussing the season with the borough tourism director. A middle-aged couple, overhearing our conversation about Canadians, asked if they could have a word.
The couple were Albertans, spending a day each in Haines and Skagway. They initially planned a two-week trip to Alaska, including riding the Alaska Railroad, but Trump’s statements changed their minds, they said.
Because they still wanted to see a bit of Alaska, they took a brief detour down from the Yukon. But they told us they wouldn’t be revealing that to their friends in Alberta, who wouldn’t forgive them.
Alberta is not San Francisco. It’s the conservative part of Canada, all oil rigs and cowboys and wheat farms. Canada’s posey-sniffers are in Vancouver and Montreal. Alberta is so conservative that some Albertans seriously want their province to secede from the Maple Leaf.
But they’re not looking to join the USA. Chances are, most of them are hoping that Canada kicks our ass again in the Four Nations Hockey Face Off, as it did in February when Canadian fans at the all-star series booed our national anthem.
Canadians were fighting Hitler a full two years before the United States even entered World War II. Canadian troops landed on the beaches of Normandy alongside U.S. soldiers. Canada is the world’s No. 1 destination for political refugees because Canadians aren’t afraid to stand up to dictators.
We could learn from our Canadian neighbors. In the meantime, let’s send the Jackass in the White House a bill for $500,000, and demand a personal check. Or perhaps he could just donate one of his solid-gold toilets, repository of his ideas.