I asked the former mayor of Haines Junction how many Canadians were boycotting Haines.
“How many did you see at the state fair?” he asked, in response.
Canadians didn’t show up at the fair.
So I stopped by the Visitor’s Center office and asked if anyone knew how much money we were losing per month in Canadian visitation because of the pukey bile erupting from the jackass in the White House.
It would be good to know. Juneau’s McKinley Group could work up an estimate that would put us in the ballpark. The Haines Borough should order up that study and send its findings to our so-called representatives in Washington, D.C., saying that we’d like to be compensated for this loss, as apparently they are okay with it.
The cost also should be submitted as an invoice to Melania’s bloated windbag and buffoon.
Because that’s exactly what the Haines Borough would be doing if President Obama ever did anything as stupid as to wreck our relationship with our neighbor, our nation’s best friend, the No. 1 source of our town’s independent visitors and our and No. 1 trading partner.
The Haines Chamber of Commerce would come unglued. Main Street businessmen would scream bloody murder and hang the president in effigy from their storefronts.
In Haines this week, you could find only two Canadian flags – one on the Visitor’s Center flagpole and one on the antique store. That’s pitiful. Go to the border of Holland, a nation that understands capitalism, and you’ll find the flags of every nation of the world.
I will never again listen to our self-proclaimed “conservatives” complain about local greenies “trying to shut down the economy.” The president of the United States, an elected official that we pay and whom we hold accountable, has shut down a big portion of our town’s economy and there’s not a peep from of our self-proclaimed champions of business.
Their silence is deafening.
In 1995, filmmaker Michael Moore created “Canadian Bacon,” an absurdist comedy about a struggling U.S. president who gets into a fight with Canada to boost his approval ratings.
Now Putin’s squirrel-haired Agent of Chaos has led us into Absurdist America, a place where a president gets away with insulting war heroes and trying to bribe voters, publicly and on TV.
The most absurd part of it all is that Putin’s stooge is now taking money out of our cash registers, robbing us, and we don’t seem to be able to muster a word of protest, or even an utterance of concern.
The next time a local Republican complains about the economy here, this is my message to them: “Where were you, guardian of the local economy, in 2026? Do you actually support the local economy, or do you just enjoy bashing greenies?”