Browsing Category : Essays

Your Public Librarian Is A Subversive

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Chances are, your local librarian is a subversive, and if you’re religious, you should thank God for that. Or perhaps not. God is not a free-thinker, at least he wasn’t in the Old Testament. Old God took an eye for an eye. He smote the Philistines. And he wasn’t tolerant of you thinking there might be other gods every bit…

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Big Science and Small-Town Reporting

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The summer of 1987 was a heady time in Haines journalism, or it seemed that way to me. I was sole reporter for the Chilkat Valley News when Mike Sica and Barnaby Dow of KHNS covered area news like white on snow. Dow, the Haines reporter, was building a journalism resume impressive enough to get him out of town before…

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To the Ramparts We Go

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My high school English teacher wrote recently, discouraged by the state of the nation, as are so many of us. Pizza Joe, our town’s street-corner philosopher, says it’s because we believed the lies we were taught as children. George Washington could not tell a lie. It took until midway through the Trump administration and much hand-wringing by the establishment press…

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One Man’s View of Abortion

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Judging from the state of the world, it’s fair to say that most people should not have children. Most people make lousy parents. Their children, small or grown, are a wreck. They are selfish and self-serving. They are busy killing themselves, each other and our planet, taking many of Earth’s other creatures with them without batting an eyelash. Children are…

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Doh! We Forgot About Nuclear War

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When the machine-gun was invented, people said it meant the end of war because such an efficient killing machine would be inhumane to use, even on soldiers. When the airplane was invented, people said it meant an end to war because aerial bombing would kill too many innocent civilians. When the atom bomb was invented, people said it meant the…

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Boris On Line Two for You, Vladimir

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(PHONE CALL INTERCEPT, SANTORINI, Greece) – “Vlad, Vlad, pick up. I’m schvitzing over here. The cops changed the locks on the yacht and they took my rugby team and Olga – remember her, the gymnast with the great caboose – she left me for some punk flanker who plays for Manchester.” “Sorry, Boris, I’m kind of tied up with Kiev…

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We Live On the Planet of the Apes

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“I didn’t expect civilization to collapse quite so quickly.” – popular Facebook meme   Quite frankly, neither did I. History tells us no one ever does: Empires and civilizations just kind of bumble along as they slowly degrade into depravity, lawlessness, authoritarianism, vice and barbarity. Eventually, Vandals breach the castle walls and we’re all eating gruel for 1,000 years before…

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Olympics Still the Best Show on TV

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I was a freak for the Olympic Games from the moment I first saw them. An early memory was dragging a mattress outside and using some boards and nails and mom’s clothesline pole to fashion a high-jump pit in our backyard. Fortunately, I married a fellow fan, a former women’s hockey player who was paid real money to teach cross-country…

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Too Much and Too Little of A Good Thing

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The climate people say the Winter Olympics may go away for lack of snow. In Beijing, skiers complain about surfaces of man-made snow that diminish their performances. In the Alps, reflective tarps are used to preserve glaciers, huge tourist attractions that are melting away. In Haines, a half-dozen or more skiers leave every winter for trips to Washington or Colorado,…

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Swimming with the Polar Bears

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Linda was sitting on a log at the water’s edge, smoking a cigarette and nipping at a flask bottle of hootch. If ever there’s been a more fitting image of the Haines Polar Bear Dip, I haven’t seen it. We’re a ragtag crew, not an elite athlete in the lot. Linda is neither young nor petite and she sank in…

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